


What is Accident but Misnamed Fate?

by robliz



Category: Glee
Genre: First Kiss, M/M, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-12-30
Packaged: 2017-11-23 00:16:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 15,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/615950
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/robliz/pseuds/robliz
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finn has been struggling since the baby drama. He is lonely and he has all these feeling. He accidentally ends up on Will's doorstep and Will is the first person in a while who listens and is there for Finn. Finn returns to Will's house repeatedly just to talk but ends up realising he has feelings for his teacher. In a drunken moment of madness he acts on these feelings. Will and Finn then have to figure out how they are going to cope with the consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Glee Big Bang Winter 10/11
> 
> Spoilers up to 2x10
> 
> Previously found on Livejournal

The first time was completely accidental. Finn was walking back from the doctor’s surgery full of thoughts of Rachel and Jesse, paying no attention to the direction he was walking in. He was so angry with himself though. Why had he let Rachel go? He had really missed his chance with her now, just because he was to stupid to admit his feelings for her. Now she was head over heals in love with Jesse and there was nothing he could do about it. Not that he could blame her really. Jesse was gorgeous. That wavy hair, that brilliant singing voice, those dance moves, those muscles... But that was beside the point.

It began to rain and Finn suddenly became aware of his surroundings. He glanced around and realised that he had no idea where in Lima he had ended up. He turned round and started walking back in the direction he had come from hoping that maybe he would either see something he recognised or would end up back at the doctor’s surgery and could start again. He walked down unfamiliar residential street after unfamiliar residential street as the rain got heavier and heavier. He pulled his jacket around him as tightly as possible but it wasn’t really waterproof and he was soaked to the skin and getting really quite cold with it. He was getting quite desperate now. He had no money to use a payphone and his cell had run out of battery. This was just another example of how much of an idiot he was, Finn thought. This was why Rachel, or anybody else for that matter, would never want him. He was doomed to live out his days alone being a total tool. That’s if he survived this evening without dying of hypothermia.

Finn stood on the corner of a street debating which house looked least like it belonged to a crazy axe murderer and therefore was the safest to ask for directions at when a car pulled up next to him. A familiar face wound down the window.

“Finn? Are you okay?”

Finn could have actually kissed him. Not that he would have done you understand. It’s not like he actually went around kissing men when they rescued him or anything. He was just really happy to see him that's all.

“Mr Schue!”

“Are you okay Finn? You’re soaked through!”

“Got a bit lost. Then it started raining.”

Finn looked down at his feet in embarrassment. He didn’t want Mr Schue to know how stupid he was.

“Well come inside and we’ll get you dried off. My house is just there.”

He pointed at a house partway down the road with flowers in the window boxes and a bright red door. It had been one of the possible safe houses Finn had been considering before.

“Okay. Thanks Mr Schue. That would be great.”

He followed the car into the drive of the house and sat on the doorstep while Mr Schue locked up the car and opened the front door of the house. He stepped into the house and stood dripping in the living room.

“Wait there, I’ll go fetch you a towel.”

Finn took the opportunity to have a good look around the room. It was weird being in a teacher’s house, even though Mr Schue was different to a normal teacher. He was more like a friend. A much older friend. Or maybe like an older cousin. Definitely not like a normal teacher though. Not after what they had all been through this year.

Mr Schue’s living room was very masculine. There were two chairs, both covered in brown leather, along with a matching sofa. There was a large TV in one corner with an x-box attached and two controllers just sitting there waiting to be used. One wall was covered in a large, metal set of shelves which were full of books, DVDs and CDs. There was a stereo near the TV and a guitar propped up next to it. A vase of flowers was on a small coffee table next to the sofa. The same type of flowers as in the window boxes outside.

“Petunias”, Mr Schue said as he re-entered the room and noticed Finn staring at the flowers. “They are my mom’s favourite and she always had them in the garden when I was growing up. They make it feel like home.”

“Here”, he said, handing Finn the large, brown towel in his hand. “I’ve also grabbed you a change of clothes. Bathroom’s through there.”

“”Thanks Mr Schue.”

Finn wandered down the corridor and managed to successfully locate the bathroom. It was strange, he thought, being in a bathroom not full of women’s stuff. At home, his mom’s stuff filled the cabinet and was lined up around the bath and the basin. At Puck’s house it was the same. Yet here, in a house with no women it was aftershave, razors and hair gel everywhere. Finn kind of liked it. Liked that he actually understood what the products in the cabinet were used for. He opened up a couple of the bottles of aftershave and gave them a sniff. They smelt of Mr Schue. Exactly how Mr Schue smelt when he hugged Finn. It was a nice smell, kind of reassuring while being strong at the same time.

Finn changed into the clothes Mr Schue had given him. The jeans hung a few inches above his ankles and the t shirt was very tight but at least they were warm and dry. He went back into the sitting room where Mr Schue was sitting with two steaming mugs of coffee in front of him.

“Thought you might need warming up,” he said as Finn walked in.  
“Thanks.”

Finn briefly debated where to sit, next to Mr Schue on the sofa or in one of the chairs, and ended up perched on the edge of the sofa as far away from Mr Schue as possible. He was beginning to feel really embarrassed now he had dried off. He didn’t really want Mr Schue to realise what an idiot he was. His cheeks began to burn and he turned away from Mr Schue.

“Relax Finn, it’s only me.”

Finn glanced at Mr Schue as he placed his hand on Finn’s shoulder for reassurance.

“Now do you want to tell me what happened? Why were you wandering round here in the rain?”

Finn’s cheeks began to burn even more.

“Come on Finn, you know you can tell me anything and I won’t judge you. I might even be able to help.”

Finn looked at Mr Schue again. He was looking at Finn with a concerned look on his face.

“Got lost,” Finn mumbled.

“Go on”

“Went to the doctor’s with Rachel.”

“Oh. I see.”

Mr Schue seemed to have an almost uncanny way of knowing what would upset Finn. His grip on Finn’s shoulder tightened.

“It’s not fair Mr Schue. Why did Jesse have to come in and just take her from me? He shouldn’t even be coming to our school.”

“Now come on Finn, he didn’t just come in and take Rachel from you. You two had broken up.”

“I know,” said Finn, his eyes filling with tears as he spoke now. “But I was just confused. I don’t think I meant it.”

“You don’t think you meant it?”

“Well maybe I did mean it. I’m not sure whether we would work together or not. But I want to try. And I don’t like her being with Jesse.”

“I think this might be a case of the grass being greener on the other side.”

“Huh?”

“I think you only want to be with Rachel when you can’t be with her. When you are with her you don’t want to be. Don’t worry it’s a very common problem.”

“So I don’t want to be with Rachel?”

“That’s up to you to figure out. What do you feel deep down?”

“I’m not sure. I think I might not like her being with Jesse because he is clearly so much better than me.”

“Oh Finn, he’s not better than you!”

“Yes he is. He can sing better and dance so much better and he’s much better looking and he’s older and he understands Rachel better than me and he’s got much more confidence and ..”

“Finn stop! Stop putting yourself down. There is plenty of stuff you can do better than him as well. You play football and basketball, you get on better with the rest of the glee club and as for Jesse being better looking, that’s a matter of personal opinion.”

Mr Schue blushed slightly. Finn gave him a little smile.

“Thanks Mr Schue.”

“Drink up your coffee then and I’ll give you a lift home.”

Finn lifted his mug of coffee up to his lips and looked Mr Schue directly in the eyes. Mr Schue smiled back at him and he felt warmed from the inside out. For the first time since he had found out about Puck being the father of Quinn’s baby he felt liked. Of course he knew that his mother loved him but that was different. It was basically her job to love him. But recently it had felt like no one else in the world had actually liked him at all. His best friend had got his girlfriend pregnant, Rachel had run off with Jesse and the rest of the footballers and the glee club just seemed to ignore him most of the time as if they would rather he wasn’t there but were just too nice to say anything about it.

He felt content as he sat in the passenger seat of Mr Schue’s car and sang softly along to the music on the radio. Mr Schue kept glancing over at him and smiling. He even came in with some of the harmonies sometimes.

As they pulled up in front of Finn’s house Mr Schue turned to Finn.

“Finn if you ever need to talk to me about anything please just come and find me. Seriously, I don’t want you feeling so miserable again.”

He reached over and placed his hand on Finn’s thigh.

“I want to help.”

“Thanks.”

“Stop saying that. I am happy to help.”

“Thanks anyway. See you at school tomorrow Mr Schue.”

“Come see me tomorrow, I think I might have the perfect song for you to sing this week.”


	2. Chapter 2

The second time was because Finn didn’t know where else to go. Burt Hummel had just thrown him out of the house for calling Kurt a fag. He had sat on the sidewalk while his anger slowly dissipated and was replaced by disappointment. Disappointment in himself for getting so angry at Kurt when he was just trying to be nice. Disappointment in himself for calling Kurt that when he has no problem whatsoever with Kurt being gay. He had not only let himself down though, he had also let his mum down. He had just ruined her best chance of happiness since his dad died. Burt was a really good man and she had been so happy and now Finn had torn it all into little pieces just because he couldn’t cope with sharing a room with one of his friends. Finn wondered if he should go back in and apologise straight away. He couldn’t figure out what to say though and, if he was honest, he was a little scared of Burt. Maybe it was best to let him calm down for a bit then. But where could he go now? He couldn’t sit on the doorstep indefinitely. Normally he would have just headed over to Puck’s house but since the baby incident they had barely spoken. Rachel would be with Jesse and there was no way Finn was going to sit and watch them being all coupley. Plus Finn wasn’t sure how well her dads might take the reason why he had been thrown out. However much he could explain that he didn’t have a problem with gay people and that it was said in the anger of the moment because he knew it would hurt, they would just think that he was homophobic. There were no other footballers or glee club members to whom he felt close enough to just turn up unannounced. Sure, most of the rest of glee club would probable let him in and be civil but they would all be on Kurt’s side and it would be awkward. Anyway, he didn’t know where most of them lived.

Then it occurred to him. There was someone who would listen and wouldn’t judge. And since he was paying attention when he was driven home last week, Finn figured he could just about manage to find his way there again. Hadn’t Mr Schue said to come and talk to him whenever he needed. Sure, he probably hadn’t really meant for Finn to come round to his house again but he needed somewhere to go and Mr Schue was the only viable option. If he could make Finn feel as happy and content as he did last time that would be brilliant. He figured that wouldn’t happen, not this time, as he felt so bad about himself, but it was worth a try.

Finn stood up and began walking in the direction of Mr Schue's house. It was going to take him a while to walk there but he was already feeling better just knowing that he had somewhere to go. He stuck his hands in his jeans pockets and discovered a few coins that he had forgotten about. Maybe he could call into a shop on the way and buy Mr Schue something to say sorry for turning up like this. What did he like though? Chocolate? Surely everybody liked that. But then again Puck did have that cousin who used to come and stay and he didn't like it. If Mr Schue was a girl he would have just bought him a bunch of flowers. That might be a bit inappropriate though. What would his mum take round to friends? Wine mainly. But Finn was underage. He couldn’t buy wine. Although he did look older than he was. He hadn’t been able to get child prices anywhere for at least 3 years. People just refused to believe him when he gave his age. Maybe he would go and buy a bottle of wine for Mr Schue. Finn was pretty certain they didn’t throw people into jail for trying to buy alcohol when they were too young. Just in case he decided that he would find a shop closer to Mr Schue’s house where there was a less likely chance that someone would recognise him.

Just round the corner from Mr Schue’s house Finn spotted a grocery store. He walked in trying to appear confident although his hand shook like a leaf. He located the wine aisle and wandered up and down it a few times while he realised how little he knew about wine. He eventually selected a bottle of red with a nice label that cost less than the handful of coins in his pocket. Walking back towards the cashier Finn briefly considered buying some candy as well then realised that it might give the game away. What kind of adult buys candy with their wine?

The cashier seemed bored and barely glanced at Finn as she scanned in the bottle. Finn didn’t make eye contact and just handed over the cash. He resisted the urge to run out of the shop as soon as he was handed the change and instead managed to walk in a relatively calm manner out of the shop and round the corner. Once out of sight he sat on the pavement and let out a huge sigh of relief. It had been much easier than he’d imagined.

Once his heart rate had returned to something resembling normal, Finn stood up and continued on to Mr Schue’s house. He walked up to the front door and rang the bell. He could hear it echoing through the house. It sounded empty. Finn sank to the floor and lent his head back against the door. He hadn’t even considered the possibility that Mr Schue would be out. He realised how silly that was. Mr Schue was allowed to go out and have a life outside of school and glee club. Tears began to form in his eyes as he realised that he was back in the same situation again. He still had nowhere to go but now he was miles from anywhere he knew. He should have just gone to the library or something and waited for Burt to calm down. He hugged the bottle of wine to his chest and considered whether to just give up on himself completely and just drink all the wine now.

Suddenly the door opened and Finn fell backwards. He looked upwards into Mr Schue’s surprised face.

“Finn!”  
“Hi”  
“What are you doing there?”

Finn pulled himself onto his feet.

“I needed to talk.”

He looked at Mr Schue. His hair was wet. He had clearly been in the shower when he rang the bell.

“I’m sorry for turning up like this.”  
“Come in Finn.”

Finn followed Mr Schue into the living room still clutching the bottle of wine. He thrust it towards Mr Schue as he turned to face Finn.

“For you.”  
“Thanks.”

Mr Schue took the bottle of wine off Finn and placed it on the table.

“Wait a minute. How did you get this?”  
“Went into a shop and bought it.”  
“But you’re 16!”  
“They didn’t seem to notice.”

Mr Schue smiled at him and placed his warm hand on Finn’s arm.

“Oh Finn you really shouldn’t have, but thanks anyway.”

Mr Schue sat on the sofa and Finn sat down next to him.

“What do you need to talk about, Finn?

Finn’s face flushed bright red but he made himself talk. After all that was what he had come here to do even if he didn’t really want to admit to Mr Schue what he had done. Didn’t want Mr Schue thinking that he meant it, that he was just a mean, dumb jock making Kurt’s life a misery.

“I called Kurt a fag.”  
“Oh.”

Mr Schue once again seemed to have this uncanny knowledge of exactly what Finn was feeling.

“I really didn’t mean it! I was just angry at him. And myself. I didn’t ask to share a room with him. I have a perfectly good room of my own at home but there’s no point in being there when mom isn’t. And I know Kurt was just trying to be nice redecorating his room in a way he thinks I’ll like but he doesn’t have a clue what I like mainly because most of the time I don’t have a clue what I like. And Burt was really mad and made me feel so guilty but it wasn’t just my fault. It was partly my fault but Burt doesn’t understand what it’s like sharing a room with a guy who fancies you and I have no problem with gay people. I wouldn’t want to share a room with a girl if she fancied me and I didn’t like her back. And then I didn’t have anywhere to go because I’m not speaking to Puck any more and I miss him but he was the one who did me wrong so he has to say sorry first and I couldn’t go to Rachel’s because Jesse would be there and I don’t really have any other close friends. I think I’m a bit of a mess.”

Finn sunk back into the cushions of the sofa and shut his eyes. Trying his best not to cry, he felt Mr Schue’s hand on his arm, his thumb rubbing gentle circles into the soft skin.

“Oh Finn.” he whispered, “What are we going to do with you?”

This was the last straw for Finn. Tears had been prickling at his eyes ever since he started speaking and he’d held them back until now. But now Mr Schue was being so gentle and kind when he knew he didn’t deserve it that there was no way he could hold them back any longer.

Noticing the tears Mr Schue reached up one hand and gently wiped the first few away with his thumb. When they didn’t stop he carefully pulled Finn into his arms. He rubbed his back and made soothing sounds in Finn’s ear. Finn buried his head into Mr Schue’s chest, calmed by Mr Schue’s actions and also his closeness. His tears stopped quite abruptly as Mr Schue pressed a kiss onto the top of his head. He pulled away slightly and looked at Mr Schue.

“You okay now Finn?”

Finn nodded. He couldn’t process speech at this moment, he was too busy trying to figure out why he was feeling this heat all over his body, everywhere Mr Schue had touched him. Finn couldn’t think at all, not while Mr Schue was still so close to him.

Finn stood up.

“Need to...”  
“Finn?”

Finn practically sprinted into the bathroom. He sat down on the edge of the bath and let his breathing return to normal. Why was Mr Schue having this effect on him? He liked Mr Schue, sure. Nobody was denying that. But Finn was starting to think that he might “like” like Mr Schue. It was a very similar feeling to what he had felt for Quinn, and what he sometimes felt for Rachel, but it was so much stronger. This couldn’t be happening. Not now, not to him. He had enough going on in his life without falling for a male teacher. He didn’t have the time or energy to have a sexuality crisis. Particularly when the only person in the world that he could talk to is the one making him question himself in the first place.

There was no option. He would just have to pull himself together. He would act like nothing was wrong. He was getting surprisingly good at doing that now. He would walk out of this bathroom and treat Mr Schue like any other teacher. Well maybe not like any other teacher but like he always has done. He needed somewhere to stay tonight anyway. He couldn’t end up sleeping on the streets just because he couldn’t control his feelings.

Finn took a deep breath and stepped out into the corridor. He walked back into the living room concentrating very hard on not blushing bright red when Mr Schue stood up and walked towards him.

“You okay Finn?”  
“Yeah,” Finn mumbled.  
“How about I make us some coffee and then we could talk some more?”

Finn nodded, keeping his eyes on the floor.

Mr Schue patted him on the arm with a forced smile on his face.

“It’ll be okay Finn.”

Finn nodded again and Mr Schue walked past him into the kitchen. He sunk down into the nearest chair. No chance of Mr Schue sitting so close if he was on a chair.

Mr Schue came back through with the coffees. He handed one to Finn and sat down on the sofa opposite.

“So do you want to tell me what happened with Kurt?”

Finn took a big gulp of hot coffee.

“I called him a fag.”  
“I got that much. But that’s really not like you Finn. What happened to make you say that?”

Finn took another gulp of coffee.

“I was really mad because I didn’t want to share a room with Kurt. You know he has a crush on me?”  
“I may have noticed something.”

Finn looked up at Mr Schue and smiled.

“He was redecorating his, no our, room and I just couldn’t take it any more. I felt like he thought that there was a chance of something happening between us now that we shared a room. But there isn’t. Because I’m not...”

Finn stopped speaking. Maybe he was gay. Maybe that was why he fancied Mr Schue.

“Because I don’t fancy Kurt.”

Mr Schue gave Finn an odd look but let him carry on without comment.

“I was really mad and so I called the lamp and the blanket faggy. I only said it because I was mad and because I knew it would hurt him. But then Burt came down the stairs and heard me and he yelled at me for ages and then he threw me out.”  
“So you came here.”  
“Yeah. Sorry about that. I didn’t have anywhere else to go.”  
“That’s okay Finn. I don’t mind, really. Do you need to stay the night?”

Finn nodded.

“Okay, I’ll make up a bed on the sofa for you.”

Finn nodded again and stared at his feet. Half of him wanted more than to just sleep on Mr Schue’s sofa. Half of him really wanted to sleep in Mr Schue’s bed. With Mr Schue. And he really wanted to do more than just sleep. The other half of him was yelling at the first half, telling him that he was a stupid idiot and of course he didn’t fancy Mr Schue. How ridiculous was that? Mr Schue was just a good teacher and Finn liked him purely in that way. Because Finn wasn’t gay. He had honestly fancied Quinn and Rachel, and other girls as well.

Finn glanced back up and noticed Mr Schue had disappeared. He could hear movement in a nearby room and Mr Schue soon returned carrying a pile of blankets and pillows.

“Here you go. You okay now to sort this out?”  
“Yeah”  
“My phone is over there as well. I think you should phone your mom and tell her where you are. She’ll probably be really worried by now. Tell her I’ll drive you over before school in the morning so you can change.”  
“Okay.”  
“I’ll leave you now. I’ve got a bit of marking to do then I’m off to bed. Sleep well, I’ll see you in the morning.”

Mr Schue reached out and brushed the back of his hand down Finn’s cheek.

“It’ll all be fine Finn. Please don’t worry.”

Finn’s cheek burned as he watched Mr Schue leave the room. He then walked over to the phone and dialled his mom’s number.


	3. Chapter 3

It was a couple of weeks later. New Directions had just lost sectionals and Will was sat at home listening to the Singing in the Rain soundtrack. He laid back on the sofa and shut his eyes. It had been a tough few months but he could feel things starting to improve again. The kids had lost but they had sounded so good that Will wasn’t upset or angry with them at all. In fact he didn’t think he had ever been so proud of them. They had pulled together despite all their differences and individual problems and created a sound that was so pure and good that it made Will cry just to think about it. It had been really good to see them perform as well, since he had missed their last performance due to that nasty business with the mattresses. They were so much better than he imagined they could be. And they had all grown into much better people. Rachel had calmed down to a certain extent with her diva tendencies and had dealt with the Jesse problem with surprising maturity. Kurt was out and proud and had the support of all his friends and family around him. Quinn, well what could he say, she had become a mother and her decision to give the baby away showed such strength of character. Puck was also affected by the arrival of Beth and seemed to be reining in some of his bad boy habits.

But it was one glee member in particular that stood out in Will’s mind, both now and always. Finn. He had grown from a scared little boy that Will yearned to protect into a mature and sensible young man that Will yearned to do a lot more that just protect. He couldn’t remember exactly when his feeling towards Finn began to change. All he knew is that he was falling for him more and more each time he saw him and that it was getting harder and harder to do the right thing and not to reach out and touch him. It was wrong, so wrong. Finn was only 16 and his pupil at that. He wasn’t going to turn into Sandy Ryerson and feel up innocent students. That wasn’t Will at all. He was supposed to be the teacher that the kids could depend on, the fun one that would join in when they wanted it and the one they could talk to when things got rough.

That is all he had been to Finn, and that’s all he ever would be. He knew Finn trusted him, the fact that he had shown up at his house when he felt he had nowhere to go showed that, and there was no way Will was going to break Finn’s trust in him. He valued that too highly. He would just love Finn from afar.

A sudden knock on the door awoke Will from his thoughts. He stood up and went to open the door.

“Finn.”

Finn smiled that oh so gorgeous smile at Will and Will felt himself melting. He smiled back at Finn and stepped aside to let Finn in through the door. Finn stepped inside and pushed the door closed behind him. He reached out a hand towards Will’s face but the hand never reached it’s destination as Finn pulled it back in and shook his head staring at the floor.

“Anything the matter Finn?”  
“No. Just wanted to see you.”

Finn’s speech was slightly slurred and Will could smell the distinct aroma of alcohol on his breath.

“Are you drunk Finn?”

Finn smiled a mischievous little smile.

“Might be.”  
“Finn.”  
“Okay, okay. I dranked something, not much though.”  
“Right.”  
“Puck told me too.”  
“And you do everything Puck tells you too? I thought you two had fallen out anyway.”  
“He’s my friend now. He wanted beer so I went and gotted it from that store round the corner.”  
“The one you got the wine from?”  
“Yea”  
“And how much did you drink?”  
“Not much, I told you. Only ‘bout five or six.”  
“I think you should come and sit down for a minute while I call your mom.”  
“No you can’t call her, Mr Schue! Please. I don’t want to hurt her.”  
“I think you should have thought of that before you drank the beer, Finn. You’ve disappointed me. I thought you were much better than this, Finn.”

Tears began to run down Finn’s face and his face crumpled.

“I’ma sorry Mr Schue. Please don’t hate me.”

Will looked at Finn. There was no way he could ever hate him. Whatever stupid thing he did next he knew that hate was not an emotion he could feel for this teen.

“I don’t hate you Finn. I just wish you had made better choices.”  
“So you won’t phone my mom?”  
“How about a compromise? You can stay her for a few hours and sober up then I’ll drive you home and speak to your mom then.”

Finn was staring at his feet again. Will knew he did this whenever he was nervous.

“Come on Finn. I can’t just ignore this. But I can tell your mom that you were very sensible and only had a few beers before realising that you had made a mistake and coming straight round to mine.”

Finn made a sound that Will couldn’t identify as a yes or a no.

“Okay Finn?”  
“Okay.”  
“Good boy.”

Will patted Finn on the shoulder, just feeling the need to establish some kind of a connection with the boy who looked so lost and confused. Will could understand where he came from to some extent. It wasn’t like he was the perfect teenager himself. He’d gone and got drunk with friends in the park from time to time. He understood the draw of the alcohol and he didn’t really judge Finn. He just wanted Finn to be safe and happy and he didn’t think that underage drinking was the way to either of these outcomes.

“Come and sit down then. I’ll get you some water.”

Will went into the kitchen and filled a glass with water. He also splashed a little onto his face. It was a bit of a shock, Finn just turning up like that. He seemed to have got into the habit of it. This was the third time in just over a month that Will had ended up with Finn sat on his sofa. Not that he minded really. It just would have been a lot easier for him to control his feelings if Finn would keep his distance. And if Finn would stop looking at him like he was the only other person in the world.

Will took the glass of water back through to the living room and sat down next to Finn.

“Drink it all or you’ll feel worse tomorrow.”

Finn nodded and took the glass off Will. He stared straight into Will’s eyes the entire time and Will could barely move a muscle. Eventually Will broke the stare and looked away.

“Why did you come here, Finn? Why not stay with Puck and the rest of your friends?”  
“Missed you. Wanted to see you.”

Will gulped. He couldn’t deal with this. Why couldn’t Finn treat him like he treated the rest of his teachers? Why did he have to treat him like a friend or even something more?

Finn reached out a hand and laid it gently of Will’s thigh. His whole body was on fire and he ached for more. But it couldn’t happen. Will lifted Finn’s hand off his leg.

“Finn.” he warned.

“Want you.”  
“Don’t do this.”  
“Want you so much.”  
“Stop it or I will call your mom now.”  
“Want you Will.”

That was the breaking point for Will. Finn had never called him by his first name before. His own name coming from those sweet, sweet lips was just too much. He closed his eyes. He could feel Finn’s hand back on his thigh again. He didn’t have the energy or motivation to move it again. Finn’s thumb began rubbing gentle circles into his leg. Will felt his brain shutting down, he knew this was wrong but he was powerless to stop it. He felt Finn’s weight shift on the sofa and then he felt warm, pliable lips press up against his own. He moaned at the contact and Finn’s tongue slipped in between his lips. Finn tasted like beer and strawberries and it was wonderful. He allowed Finn to push him down so he was lying under Finn on the sofa. Finn’s hands were everywhere, his legs, his back, his hair and Will let himself sink into the kiss, wrapping his arms around Finn and pulling him closer. It was wrong. Still wrong. But also so right. So right that Will never wanted to stop. He knew however that he must.

It took more strength than Will thought he possessed to push Finn off him and get off the sofa. He backed up to the wall and lent on it for support. Finn looked completely distraught at the sudden movement and stared at him from the sofa.

“Finn,” he whispered.

Finn’s eyes bore into him but he didn’t say a word.

“We can’t do this. I can’t do this.”

Finn continued to stare silently at him.

“I’m sorry but you know we can’t.”

Will really, really wanted to gather Finn up in his arms and hug him and tell him it would all be alright but he couldn’t trust himself to touch Finn at the moment.

“I’m gonna drive you home now Finn, okay? We’ll talk about this tomorrow, when you’ve sobered up.”

Finn nodded and slowly stood up from the sofa. He walked towards the door and stood there waiting for Will. He was still completely silent. Will grabbed his car keys and pulled his shoes on. He opened the door and went out to the car. Finn followed him silently.

The drive to Finn’s house was the most awkward car journey that Will had ever undertaken. Finn never said a word, just kept shooting glances at Will. Will longed to touch him but managed to restrain himself.

Eventually they pulled up outside Finn’s house. Will put the handbrake on and turned to Finn.

“I’m so sorry Finn but you know I can’t don’t you? I hate having to upset you like this but it would be wrong for me not to.”

Finn had been staring at his feet but he looked up at this, looked Will right in the eyes and broke his silence.

“How can it be wrong when I love you this much?”

Then he reached out and brushed a finger down Will’s face. Will closed his eyes at the contact. He opened them as he heard the car door slamming shut and he saw Finn walking up to his front door. Finn glanced back at Will as he opened the door and then he entered the house and the door was shut. Will lent back into his seat and cried silent tears. He was caught in an impossible situation and he really hoped he had made the right decision, even though that decision seemed to have hurt both Finn and himself.


	4. Chapter 4

Finn didn’t turn up at school the following day so Will had to wait until after the weekend to speak to him. He spotted Finn chatting with Tina and Mercedes as he pulled into the car park. He walked straight over to them.

“Hi Mr Schue!”  
“Hi Mercedes, Tina. Finn, can I have a word with you in my office?”  
“Sure.”  
“Now.”  
“Okay.”

Will walked quickly towards his office with Finn following on behind. He unlocked the door and sat down in his chair.

“Sit down Finn.”  
“Is this about the other night? Because I am really sorry about that, Mr Schue.”  
“Yes it is about the other night. You need to understand that what happened can never happen again.”  
“I understand Mr Schue. There is no way I’m going to drink that much ever again.”  
“I think I need to apologise to you as well.”  
“Why do you need to apologise to me Mr Schue? I’m the drunk idiot who turned up unannounced at your front door, at least I assume I did since mom says you drove me home.”  
“You assume you did?”  
“Yeah, can’t really remember much about that night. All I remember is drinking some beers at Puck’s house. I don’t remember leaving his house. Next thing I remember is waking up in my own bed feeling like death warmed up.”  
“So you don’t remember anything about what happened at my house?”  
“Absolutely nothing. Why? Did I do something stupid? Please don’t hate me if I did.”  
“No, Finn. Nothing happened.”  
“Okay. Good. Can I go now?”  
“Yeah. See you in glee club this afternoon.”

Finn stood up and left the office. Will lent back into his chair. So Finn couldn’t remember what had happened. That was probably good. It would mean Finn would never tell anybody that he had kissed his underage male student. It would mean that Finn wouldn’t be hurt by the rejection. It was a good thing really. But Will couldn’t help wishing that Finn had remembered. Was he that forgettable? Of course, Will knew how alcohol could make you forget, it wasn’t his or Finn’s fault. But if Finn had remembered, then imagine the possibilities. Not that any of these possibilities would have occurred. Will would not, could not have allowed a relationship to begin how ever much he desired it.

Will was now left with the memory of the kiss, the hands, the closeness. He knew he had to try to forget them and bring the relationship between him and Finn back to a more normal student-teacher relationship. He had to treat Finn just the same as his other students. It was going to be the hardest thing he had ever done but he would do it. He would do it not for himself though, he would do it for Finn.

He got to the choir room that afternoon with his mind set to treat Finn like everybody else, to discover a note telling him to come to the auditorium. He wandered over towards the auditorium hoping that the note wasn’t a trap left by Sue.

Entering the auditorium, he found all of New Directions on the stage.

Rachel stood up.

“Sit down Mr Schue, we have something to say to you.”

Will sat obediently at the desk and tried his best not to stare at Finn.

What came next surprised him and made him prouder of the kids than he had ever thought possible.

“In the beginning of this year I was just another football player.”  
“I had a stutter.”  
“I was a closeted diva.”  
“I used to be captain of the cheerios.”  
“I was afraid to dance outside my room.”  
“I hated everyone in this club.”  
“So did I.”  
“I wasn’t honest about who I was.”  
“I was tossing kids into dumpsters.”  
“I had never kissed a girl before.”  
“I was getting slushied.”

Tears were already prickling at the corners of Will’s eyes before Finn began to speak.

“I didn’t, I didn’t have a father, someone I could look up to, model myself after, someone who could show me what it really meant to be a man.”

Finn kept the eye contact between himself and Will for most of the speech. Will had never wanted this boy more that at that moment. The urge to stand up, run onto the stage and just take Finn in his arms was almost too much to bear. He had to console himself with a sad little smile at Finn. He barely heard what Rachel and Mercedes were saying he was so caught up in Finn. He managed to snap himself out of it when the band started playing. The song was so beautiful, perfect and sung from the heart that Will cried actual tears. He tore his eyes from Finn and saw the rest of the glee club and how much they had grown and matured, yet they were still kids at heart. Finn was just the same. Just a kid at heart. Too young to be caught up in a sordid affair with a teacher. Too young to know that it wasn’t what he really wanted. Will was the grown up and he would have to act like it. There was only a couple more weeks of school left and then he would have the entire of the summer vacation to get over this silly little crush on Finn.


	5. Chapter 5

It was only the second week of summer and Finn was bored already. He’d played all the computer games that he and Puck owned, he’d shot more hoops than he could count and he’d had a disastrous attempt at making a cake for his mom. While Finn would never go as far as saying that he missed school, he would admit that he missed glee club. It wasn’t just the singing that he missed, although that was a large part of it, it was seeing the rest of glee club. Since the vacation had started, Finn had only seen Puck, Mike and Matt. He had glimpsed Mercedes across a supermarket the other day and of course his mom was always talking about what Kurt was up to but he hadn’t spoken to any of the others at all. And of course there was Mr Schue. Finn missed him more than he would care to admit. Mr Schue had brought a light into his life that Finn missed so much now that he couldn’t see him. He had racked his brains repeatedly trying to think of an excuse to go round and see him but he had never come up with one. Still, the perfect idea was always just around the corner!

Finn switched on his radio just as Ride with Me came on. It reminded him of the secret jamming sessions that they used to have during Sue’s reign of terror. They had been so fun and so natural. That was one of the times that being in glee had felt like being in a family. Well, Finn thought, there was nothing stopping them doing this again over the summer. He was sure Rachel would approve of anything that kept their voices in training or whatever she had been going on about just before school finished. She might try to take over and make it really formal though. Finn thought that he would just have to remind her that this was purely for fun and it wasn’t like there was a competition coming up or anything.

He rolled off his bed and grabbed his phone off the floor. He texted all the member’s of the glee club the same message.

How bout a jam sumtime this week? ND reunited ovr the vac. Wud be gr8 2 c u all.

He got a reply from Rachel straight away.

That would be great. I have some new solos I’ve been working on. Would love to show you and make sure everyone is doing their vocal exercises right.

Finn laughed out loud at how much Rachel hadn’t changed. He thought it might be awkward between them after Jesse left but they seemed to have settled into being friends quite comfortably. This was good because Finn really did like Rachel. He may not want to go out with her or anything but that didn’t mean they couldn't be friends. And if he hadn’t done the idiotic thing of falling head over heels in love with Mr Schue then he probably would have gone out with her. And it probably would have been fine. But Mr Schue occupied too much of Finn’s brain for him to even consider having another relationship right now.

Finn’s phone made a noise and he noticed that he had got another message, this time from Puck.

It was gay in school and its even gayer now we are not in school. Might come if I can bring my guitar though.

Finn had a brief moment of confusion where he thought that Puck might be able to read his thoughts until he realised that the thing that was gay was glee not his feelings for Mr Schue. He began to get angry and remembered at the last moment that his friendship with Puck was on tenterhooks as it was and sending an angry message to Puck about his homophobic comments was not going to help the situation. Puck would only say that Finn was calling him out on it because he was gay and while Finn thought he may well be gay he wasn’t exactly ready to share this thought with anyone else right now. Puck was coming and that was the main thing. He could educate Puck later. He had actually been slightly concerned that he may have said something to Puck when they were drunk but since Puck was acting no different around him and had said nothing unusual, either he had said nothing or Puck had also been too drunk to remember what had happened. Either way, Finn was pretty certain Puck had no idea of his feelings for other men, or one man in particular really.

Within an hour Finn had received messages from all of New Directions. Mercedes had offered her house as a venue and they had decided to start the following evening. Finn was much more excited than he expected at the prospect of singing again and practically ran to Mercedes house the next day.

Everybody turned up and Puck brought his guitar along. Finn made up for the lack of a drum kit by banging on cookie tins like a little kid. It was all great fun however. They were all so glad to see each other that they even let Rachel lead them in in warm up and then let her sing her new solo for them. The rest of what they sang was mainly a run down of some of their favourites from the past year. Puck’s repertoire didn’t stretch much further than that and a couple of new chart songs he liked so anything else they wanted to sing would have to be unaccompanied.

While Finn enjoyed the session and was already looking forward to next week, he couldn’t help feeling that something was missing. Mr Schue wasn’t there with them, helping them and joining in with the fun. It crossed Finn’s mind that they could invite him along. He was sure that Mr Schue would enjoy it. It might not be very appropriate though. And Finn didn’t really feel comfortable going round to his house to ask him. Not since he had developed these feelings. Even though this wasn’t actually anything to do with those feelings.

The following week it wasn’t Finn that brought up the lack of Mr Schue, but Rachel.

“Should we maybe tell Mr Schue what we are doing? Maybe he would have some new music he wants us to try out.”  
“I shouldn’t think Mr Schue is spending his entire summer vacation finding music for you to sing.” replied Santana.  
“Maybe not,”said Tina, “But he might have some sheet music we could borrow. It would be nice to try a few more show tune.”  
“Yes,” said Kurt, “I’m getting a bit bored of Puck’s repetitive playing.”  
“Speak for yourself!” Puck replied, giving Kurt a gentle shove.  
“How are we going to contact him?” asked Tina.  
“I know where he lives.” said Finn.  
“Brilliant. Mr Schue likes you as well, Finn. Can you go round at some point this week and speak to him about it.” Rachel said with a big grin on her face.

Finn panicked. He didn’t really want to go round to Mr Schue’s house uninvited again. He regretted admitting that he knew where Mr Schue lived.

“It’s nearer for Puck to go. It would be really annoying if I walked all the way over just to find that he’d gone on holiday or something.”  
“Come on Finn, there is no way Mr Schue had gone on holiday. Have you seen the state of his car and his clothes, he couldn’t afford a holiday.” said Kurt.  
“Besides, who is he going to go with? His ex-wife?” said Mercedes.  
“And don’t send me round there. I’ll just get lost. Or trash something” said Puck.

Finn realised that there was no way out of this. He was going to have to go round to Mr Schue’s house again. Looking on the bright side, at least this time he had a reason. And the reason wasn’t all about himself.

“Fine. I’ll go round tomorrow.”  
“Thanks Finn. Remember to ask him for sheet music. If he has Evita, that would be great” said Rachel.


	6. Chapter 6

This was the fourth time Finn had found himself on Mr Schue’s doorstep. Not that he remembered the third time. He wondered again what had happened that night. Probably he had turned up at Mr Schue’s house and he had driven him straight home.

Finn knocked on the door and then stepped back to wait. He could hear movement inside the house and then the door opened and Mr Schue was there. Finn blushed bright red. It had been three weeks since he had seen Mr Schue and since then he had spent so much time thinking about him that he had built him up into this kind of superhero.

“Finn! I wasn’t expecting to see you!”  
“Hi Mr Schue. Sorry to just turn up like this but Rachel thought you might have some sheet music for us to borrow.”  
“Yes, certainly. Come in and you can have a look at what I’ve got.”  
“Thanks. Rachel wants Evita if you have that.”

Finn followed Mr Schue into the living room. This was getting rather familiar to Finn. Mr Schue walked over to the shelves next to the TV and pulled a box off it. He placed it on the coffee table and began to lift music out of it.

“So what is this music for, Finn?”  
“We’ve decided to keep New Directions going over the vacation.”  
“That’s brilliant! Who’s idea was that?”

Finn blushed again.

“Mine.”

Mr Schue stopped what he was doing and looked up at Finn who was stood next to him. He smiled at him and moved his hand as though he was going to place in on Finn’s shoulder but pulled back and the last minute and looked away again.

“That’s great Finn.”  
“Yeah.”

An awkward silence fell between them as Mr Schue continued to root through the box of music. Finn shifted his weight from one foot to the other and he stared at the back of Mr Schue’s head. He hadn’t counted on his feelings having got stronger since the last time he saw Mr Schue. He had been awkward enough around Mr Schue before, now he had no idea how to act normal.

Mr Schue looked up at him again.

“Sit down Finn. No need for you to stand on ceremony.”

Finn sat on the sofa.

“Would you like a drink while I’m looking?”  
“Please.”  
“I’ve got some lemonade.”  
“That would be nice.”

Mr Schue went into the kitchen to get the lemonade. He came back with two glasses. He placed one on the coffee table and, sitting down next to Finn, gave the other one to Finn.

Finn suddenly got an overwhelming sense of deja vu. He could remember Mr Schue handing him a drink like this before. And this wasn’t like how he could remember Mr Schue making him coffee before, this was different, more blurry. Finn was certain it was a glass of something. Maybe he had dreamed it.

Finn took a sip of the lemonade. He tried to remember what had happened next in this “dream”. Mr Schue had been talking to him, what about? He thought harder. He remembered something about Mr Schue asking him why he was here and not with Puck. And then he touched Mr Schue. And then it was more than touching, it was kissing, and it was wonderful. And it wasn’t a dream.

It hit Finn like a train. It was no dream. That was what had happened when he turned up drunk at Mr Schue’s. He had actually kissed Mr Schue. And Mr Schue had kissed back. And then Mr Schue had stopped kissing him and told him that it couldn’t happen.

Finn couldn’t stay in the same room as Mr Schue any longer. All of these hidden memories were flooding back into his brain, along with the feelings that went with them. Finn knew that there were only two things he could do at this moment. Either he could kiss Mr Schue again and hope against hope that he wouldn’t get rejected again or he could run. He chose the later. He stood up and ran out of the room and out of the front door. He could hear Mr Schue calling after him but he didn’t turn back.

Finn’s pace slowed to a walk once he was a couple of blocks away from Mr Schue’s house. His mind was full of confusion. What had the kiss meant? Did Mr Schue feel the same was as he did? Could they have a chance of working or will it forever just be a fantasy? He wished he had someone to talk to. He knew that he should go back and talk it through with Mr Schue but he didn’t think he could talk rationally right now. Particularly not with the memory of what it was like to kiss him whirling around his brain. Oh he just wanted to kiss him again now. Now that he knew how good it felt, he just wanted more.

Finn barely noticed the long walk home. He walked in through his front door, ignored his mom’s questions about where he had been, walked straight up the stairs into his bedroom and shut the door firmly. Then he did what he always did when he was angry and confused, he sat at his drum kit and based away at them almost without rhythm for a few minutes. It didn’t relieve the confusion in the way it normally did though. Finn pulled his shoes off and fell into his bed. He pulled the covers over his head and tried to ignore the world. He sent his mom away when she came up later to see if he wanted anything to eat.

“Are you sure honey? I’ve got mac and cheese for you.”  
“I’m fine mom, just not hungry tonight.”  
“Okay, if you say so dear.”

It was the same the following morning. Finn refused to leave his bed or to eat any breakfast.

“Are you ill, Finn?”  
“Just not hungry.”  
“Sure you’re not ill? Do you want me to see if they can squeeze you in at the surgery today?”  
“I’m fine, honest mom.”  
“Hmm. Maybe you’re just in love.”

Finn felt like his mom could see right through him. He was in love, that’s what the problem was. Maybe she would figure out who he was in love with. Maybe she’d make him transfer to a different school away from Mr Schue. Maybe she’d find out that Mr Schue had kissed him and get him sacked. Finn couldn’t bear that, since the kiss was his fault really.

None of this happened though. Carole just kissed him on the forehead and left for work. Finn rolled over in his bed and went back to sleep.

His dreams were full of Mr Schue and kissing and touching and so much more. Finn dreaded waking up and remembering that most of what happened in the dreams wasn’t true. He spent almost a week plagued by these too perfect to be true dreams, eating very little and spending most of his time in bed. Carole was really starting to worry by this point and had taking to checking Finn’s temperature every evening and watching him closely while he ate his tea.

Finn headed over to the next New Directions’ practise in a daze. He had only remembered about it because his mom had asked him how it was going. He knocked on Mercedes door and when she answered he silently followed her though into the living room. The rest of the glee club was already there.

“Finn, did you manage to get over to Mr Schue’s house?” asked Rachel

Finn stared at her as though she knew his deepest darkest secrets.

“Why would I do that?” he replied, trying to act casual but completely failing.  
“To get the sheet music remember? We asked you last week.”  
“Oh”

Finn had, up until that point, completely forgotten about the sheet music.

“Well?” pressed Rachel.  
“No.” said Finn blushing pink.  
“Why not? It was only one little thing we asked you to do.”  
“Hey, leave him alone, Rachel. He’s been ill this week, his mom told me he’s barely left his bed all week.” said Kurt. Finn smiled appreciatively at him.  
“OK fine,” Rachel said in a calmer voice, “But could you try your best to go round this week Finn? I would really like some sheet music and I’ve already spent my allowance this month on new ballet shoes.”  
Finn stared at his shoes and nodded. While he really didn’t want to go round to Mr Schue’s house again, he figured he owed Mr Schue an explanation for why he disappeared so quickly last time anyway. The sheet music would just be another excuse for going round.


	7. Chapter 7

Finn spent a good ten minutes on Mr Schue’s doorstep working up the courage to knock on the door. He wasn’t sure what to say or do when he saw Mr Schue. He wasn’t sure whether to admit that he remembered what had happened that night or whether to just let Mr Schue continue believing that he had forgotten everything about it. It would be easier that way, he could just knock on the door, collect the sheet music and get out of there before Mr Schue asked any awkward questions about his speedy disappearance last week. But he also wanted to know how Mr Schue felt about the kiss. He obviously hadn’t hated it that much since he didn’t push Finn away straight away but it wasn’t like he’d tried to continue anything or talk to Finn about it afterwards. Maybe it was just that those rumours going round school about Mr Schue being a slut were true. Maybe he’d kissed Finn just because he was there, nothing to do with any feeling he may or may not have. Maybe he only stopped because he was worried Finn would tell someone and it would get him into trouble. Finn figured that he could probably be sacked from his job if anyone like Figgins or Coach Sylvester ever found out. He wasn’t sure whether it was illegal or not either so Mr Schue might even be sent to prison. That would definitely be a good reason for stopping whatever the reason for starting the kiss.

Eventually Finn had got so muddled with what had and could happen that he gave up waiting any more and just knocked on the door. It was opened by a confused looking Mr Schue.

“Finn. Didn’t expect to see you back again after last time.”  
“Sorry about that Mr Schue. I had to... go do... something.”  
“Right.”  
“Sorry.”  
“It’s okay Finn. Did you come for the sheet music?”  
“Yeah. Rachel made me.”

Finn realised how that sounded and quickly tried to make it sound much better.

“Not that I didn’t want to come round or anything. Or that there is anything going on between me and Rachel again. It’s just that she really wanted the sheet music. And you know what she’s like. I thought she might murder me or something if I said no. Not that I would have said no or anything. I wanted to come round really. Because I like coming round to see you. I like you I think. Even though I don’t know how you feel about me. Maybe you do like me. Or maybe I was just imagining it all after all.”

He was babbling and he knew it but he couldn’t think properly with Mr Schue stood there acting like everything was okay when it really wasn’t.

Mr Schue reached out and took hold of Finn’s shoulder.

“Come inside Finn. I think we need to talk.”

Finn allowed himself to be lead into the living room and gently pushed down onto the sofa. Mr Schue sat down next to him and just stared at him. Finn didn’t know what to say so he just sat there waiting for Mr Schue to say something.

“You’ve remembered.”

Finn nodded. He didn’t know where this was going.

“Do you remember me saying that it could never happen again?”

Finn nodded again, hoping that he would retract the statement and kiss him again right now.

“You understand that it still can’t happen.”

Finn stared at his shoes but nodded again.

“We can’t Finn. It’s illegal and immoral.”  
“But I’m 16.”  
“I know but I’m your teacher. I’m in a position of authority over you and therefore I can’t abuse that position in any way.”

Finn nodded again. He was unsure of exactly what Mr Schue had said but he got the general gist of it all. Basically he couldn’t be with Mr Schue because Mr Schue was his teacher. But maybe he could if Mr Schue wasn’t his teacher anymore.

“What if I drop out?”

Mr Schue reached out and grabbed Finn’s hand.

“Oh Finn don’t do that. Don’t waste your chances on me, I’m not worth it.”  
“I think you are.”

Mr Schue lifted his other hand and brushed his thumb across Finn’s cheek.

“I’m not and one day you will realise that. You’ve just got to be really strong until that day. Can you do that? For me?”

Finn nodded fighting back tears.

“Thank you Finn.”

Finn gave up with fighting the tears and let them run down his face. He lunged over and buried his face into Mr Schue’s chest. He felt strong arms wrap around him and he was rocked gently while Mr Schue made calming noises.

“It will get better Finn. I promise you that.”

Finn then felt warm lips press against the top of his head. He pulled back and stared at Mr Schue. His eyes were red and there were tears on his cheeks as well. Finn reached up and tried to brush one of the tears away but Mr Schue grabbed his hand and stopped him.

“I think you should go now Finn before we do something we will both regret.”

Finn nodded.

“Here,” said Mr Schue, handing Finn a folder from the coffee table, “Sheet music for Rachel.”

Finn grabbed the folder and looked Mr Schue directly in the eyes.

“I can’t stop loving you just like that. I’m not sure I will ever stop loving you, Will. But I understand that nothing can happen between us, however much we might both want it.”

Then he turned away and walked slowly towards the door, hoping against hope that Mr Schue would catch him before he left the house. He reached the front door and took once last glance behind him before pulling the door open. Mr Schue had sunk to the ground and was silently weeping. It took all the strength Finn had to walk out of the door with him looking like that but he now knew that Mr Schue would not want him to stay. Not yet anyway. Finn was just too young.


	8. Chapter 8

And so they carried on as normal, or as normal as it is possible to do in that situation. Finn managed to stay away from Mr Schue’s house for the rest of the vacation although he could regularly be found sat on swings in a park just around the corner gently swinging back and forth singing softly to himself. He managed to start a strange little relationship with Rachel because he was bored and he figured that if he couldn’t have Mr Schue then he might as well have Rachel. She could be fun after all and it was much nicer going to the cinema or bowling with her than by himself. Plus, if he closed his eyes while he was kissing her, he could almost imagine it was Mr Schue and that was definitely better than nothing.

When school started again Finn found that being around Mr Schue was easier than he had imagined it to be. Of course it was still very difficult at times, particularly in glee club if Mr Schue decided to show off his dance moves again. But that was what drum kits were for, hiding behind so as not to embarrass yourself, your girlfriend or your teacher with the inappropriate bulge in his pants. When Mr Schue wasn’t around it was fine. He got on with his school work and spent time with Rachel and generally tried to keep himself busy. Gradually the longing feeling he got in the pit of his stomach every time he saw Mr Schue began to dissipate. The feelings were still there but they didn’t seem as overpowering as before. He watched Mr Schue try again and again to impress Miss Pillsbury unsure whether to be really jealous or whether to be happy that Will was happy. Not that Will seemed to actually be happy. He seemed to be caught up in Miss Pillsbury and she barely seemed to glance at him anymore.

Finn’s new found friendship with Sam also helped. Finn actually felt comfortable enough with his sexuality to admit, although only to himself, that he had felt an attraction to Sam to begin with. Watching Sam watching him during glee club’s performance of Empire State of Mind, Finn almost forgot all about Will and Rachel and let himself dream of a simple life with Sam by his side. While he may have felt much more comfortable with having feeling for Sam than he ever felt with his feeling for Mr Schue, he was nowhere near ready to tell other people yet. Instead he just enjoyed the friendship with no expectations of it going any further. It was nice to have a friend anyway. It had been a good few months since he had had what could properly be called a best friend since he fell out with Puck. He might be speaking to Puck now but they didn’t really have a proper friendship anymore. It took a while to create a solid friendship with Sam but once they were both back on the football team where they belonged things got a lot easier. Acknowledgements in the locker room developed into conversations in the corridors and then onto playing basketball together at the weekends. The Quinn thing threatened to destroy the blossoming friendship but Finn realised very quickly that he was completely over her and that any remaining feelings for her were purely platonic and more than anything he just wanted her to be happy. Sam seemed to make her happy so he was fine with them being together.

During the Christmas holidays Finn was over at Sam’s house playing computer games. Sam went out to the kitchen and returned with a couple of bottles of beer.

“Want one?”  
“Sure, thanks.”

Finn opened the bottle and took a swig. Every time he drank beer, he was reminded of Mr Schue and of what had happened between them that night. He took another swig and tried to concentrate on the computer game instead. He wasn’t in the mood to deal with repressed feelings right now.

Three bottles of beer and four more rounds of Halo later, Finn and Sam were both slumped on the sofa. The alcohol had gone straight to Finn’s head and he had much more confidence than normal. Full of thoughts of Mr Schue and kissing, Finn asked Sam a question he had been wondering about since he first met him.

“Have you ever fancied another man?”  
“Huh?”

Sam turned towards him and frowned.

“I mean have you ever felt anything more than friendship for a man?”  
“No, not really. Why? Have you?”

Finn wasn’t sure what to say. He wasn’t sure he was ready to confess all to Sam. He’d kind of been hoping that Sam would say that he had fancied another man and then it would be much easier to admit that he had too. Sam wouldn’t judge him though, Finn was pretty certain of that what with the way he stood up for Kurt.

“Yeah.”  
“Really! Who? Not Kurt?”  
“No not Kurt although I think Kurt would be very disappointed to hear that.”  
“Who then? Have you told him? Is he gay?”  
“I told him and then I kissed him. He let me kiss him but then he pushed me away. I don’t know whether he is gay or not. I don’t know whether I am gay or not.”  
“Well that’s easy to figure out. Do you fancy girls?”  
“Yeah, sometimes.”  
“Do you fancy boys?”  
“Yeah.”  
“Then it sounds like you are bisexual, Finn.”  
“Bisexual?”  
“Yeah, you know, you like both girls and boys.”  
“OK. Yeah. I’m bisexual.”  
“So are you going to tell me who this mysterious guy is then?”

Finn blushed.

“I shouldn’t. He wouldn’t want me to.”  
“OK but is he hot?”  
“Oh yes,” Finn said laughing, “He is definitely hot!”

 

Will was not coping so well with the fallout from the forbidden relationship. He had no friends to lean on and nowhere to hide since Emma had ended up with Carl. Emma was acting weird around him as though she thought that he was struggling purely because he was consumed with love for her. It wasn’t true though. Sure, he fancied Emma, but she wasn’t the person whose voice echoed around his head all day and whose face he saw every time he closed his eyes. There was no way he could tell her any of this though. His feelings were wrong and illegal. He couldn’t tell anyone about it and anyway, no one asked.

Glee club became awkward and a chore rather than the joy it used to be. He regularly found himself staring at Finn and had to force himself to look away. He couldn’t bear to be in the same room as Finn because he had to concentrate so hard not to run up to him, take him into his arms and kiss him. Somehow, Will was never sure how, he managed to keep it together and he never did do anything stupid with Finn. He did however do many other stupid things in the next few months. He chased Emma unrelentingly even after she got married to Carl. He slept with his ex wife even though he knew he didn’t love her anymore and that it would just cause more upset and pain for both of them. He even, in a moment of complete madness, considered seducing Sue. Every time he did something stupid he knew he was just desperate for company. Loneliness had become his constant friend.

In the end it was Shannon Beiste that pulled Will out of the spiral of self destruction. She was there for him as a friend and only as a friend. She was there when Sue wound him up and when Figgins cut his funding. She was there when the pressure of the job and helping the kids got too much. She didn’t even need to say anything most of the time. Most of the time she just grabbed his coat and announced that they were going bowling to take his mind off everything. Or she would drop by his house with a six pack and they would watch trashy TV until they couldn't take it any more. But she would also listen to Will’s problems and try to give him advice. He told her all about Emma and how he wasn’t sure he wanted her or whether he just wanted the idea of her or whether he only wanted her because she was out of his reach. He told her about Terri and how he had loved her once but that he couldn’t do it anymore. In a drunken moment of madness one evening, after he had been subjected to Finn and Rachel’s latest fight and make up session during glee club, he had blurted out that he had feeling for a student. Shannon had looked at him in a weird way but let him continue.

“I can’t help it, I’ve tried to suppress them but they won’t go away. And I have to watch them every day knowing that I can never have them. I feel so guilty for feeling this way about them. It’s so wrong, so very wrong. I feel like I’m such a bad person.”

Will’s face was streaked with tears.

“Come on Will, everybody has feeling for students at some point. I mean they are approaching their peak attractiveness and our biology and hormones dictate that we fall for them sometimes. It doesn’t mean you are a bad person. A bad person would act on these feeling and you would never do that.”

Will’s tears increased and he looked away.

“Oh. You did. What happened?”

“He kissed me and I didn’t pull away straight away.”  
“Wait a minute, he?”

Will nodded.

“OK. So this is a crisis of sexuality as well as guilt about this student.”

Will nodded.

“Well I say that he was the one who kissed you and I assume you did push him away eventually?”

“Yeah, and I told him there was no way anything like that could ever happen again.”

“Then you did the right thing Will. Maybe you shouldn’t have got into a situation where something like that could happen but we all make mistakes. The important thing is to learn from them. Please don’t beat yourself up over it, Will. You’re too good a teacher to these kids to suffer for one little mistake.”

Shannon rested her hand on Will’s shoulder.

“OK?”  
“OK.”  
“Do you want to talk about the gay thing?”  
“Not really. I’m kind of okay with that now. It’s not like this is the first crush I’ve had on a man before. First one where something has happened but that was mainly because I used to fall for straight men.”  
“And this one is definitely not straight.”  
“It would appear not.”


	9. Chapter 9

Graduation was over. Finn was, from this moment onwards, no longer a high school student. He had finished, done, ended. The relief of it all swam through him and his smile was permanently fixed on his face. He stood in amongst all his friends, both the ones from glee and the ones from football, as they all kissed and hugged and high fived each other. It was all very weird. At the end of the summer so many of them were going to disappear off to colleges. Okay so most of them weren’t going very far but some were and even the closer ones wouldn’t see each other anywhere near as much as they did at the moment. This was an ending. The end of joint lives, of singing together and of playing together. Finn had long since broken up with Rachel and he knew sadly that many other relationships would soon be following the same path as tensions developed due to living in new places with new people and being apart. Quinn came up to him and hugged him. He clung to her, not wanting to let go of all this. He had enjoyed high school, really enjoyed it. Okay so sometime it was miserable and there had been some really bad bits such as Quinn’s baby drama, but generally it had been brilliant.

“I’ll miss you.” he whispered into her ear.   
Quinn kissed his cheek.  
“Silly thing,” she said affectionately, “I’ll be over to see you every weekend at college. We are in the same city after all.”  
He smiled remembering that she had got a place at Xavier University, as she said, to keep her parents happy. He was glad he wasn’t going to Cincinnati all by himself.

Rachel swept past in her gown.

“Just wanted to make sure that you both knew you are invited to mine tomorrow night for a graduation party.”  
“Great, thanks Rachel.” replied Finn.

Finn watched her as she went and noticed that she was going to talk to Mr Schue. He watched as Mr Schue pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek. Finn could feel his insides twisting. He thought those feelings had almost gone. They appeared to be back with a vengeance. Maybe it was just that he was feeling a little vulnerable right now or something. Finn stared at Mr Schue and watched Rachel wander off to talk to someone else. Mr Schue looked up and locked eyes with Finn. They held the stare for what felt like hours. Finn felt drawn to him. He walked deliberately towards Mr Schue ignoring everyone else around him. He stopped just in front of Mr Schue.

“Mr Schue...”  
“You can call me Will now, Finn. You’re not my student anymore.”  
“Oh. Okay Will.”

Finn mind was full to the brim with thoughts. He was not Mr Schue’s, Will’s, student anymore. That would mean that Mr Schue, Will would not be taking advantage of him anymore. That means that something could happen between them. That’s if Will still wanted it to happen. Two years had passed since that fateful kiss and Finn wasn’t even sure if Will had wanted it at the time or whether he was just being nice to the poor kid who kept showing up on his doorstep in tears. It wasn’t like there was any chance of anything happening now.

Finn realised that his mouth had been hanging open while he tried to think all of this through. Will was looking at him in a concerned way.

“You okay Finn?”

Finn nodded and smiled a forced smile.

“I should get back to my parents,” he said.  
“Okay. Well done for graduating finally.”

Will reached out and squeezed Finn’s arm. Finn barely heard the next sentence Will spoke, there was too much heat coming from the point of contact.

“I’ll see you tomorrow at Rachel’s?”  
“Umm yeah, sure.”

Finn turned round and headed back towards the group. As he reached them Sam grabbed his arm and pulled him aside.

“It’s him isn’t it? It’s Mr Schue!”  
“Um, what?”  
“That guy you told me about ages ago, the one you kissed that time.”

Finn blushed a deep red.

“It is! No wonder you didn’t want to tell me! I mean was it even legal?”

Finn shrugged and stared at his feet.

“Hey Finn don’t be embarrassed, it’s only me. And I will admit that Mr Schue is seriously hot. If I had to do a guy, he’d be very high up on my list.”

Finn looked up at Sam and realised that he was never going to judge him. He was too good a friend and was one of the few people Finn knew who had no issue whatsoever with anyone’s sexuality.

“Thanks, Sam.”  
“Don’t mention it. What was Mr Schue saying to you anyway? Are you going to get together now you’ve graduated?”  
“I dunno. He was just saying congratulations, you know, about graduating.”  
“Oh. That’s boring.”  
“He did say he was coming to Rachel’s party tomorrow though.”  
“All right! So this is your chance to get with him before you go off to college then.”  
“I suppose.”

Finn was beginning to get nervous. Of course he wanted Mr Schue in theory but now that there was a possibility of actually having a relationship with him, he was unsure.

“Come on, Finn. It’ll be great. We’ll get Kurt to find you something to wear so you look really hot and Mr Schue won’t be able to resist you.”  
“OK.”


	10. Chapter 10

Finn awkwardly fiddled with his collar as he walked up Rachel’s drive with Kurt.

“Calm down Finn! What are you nervous about anyway?”  
“Nothing”

Finn hadn’t been brave enough to tell Kurt why he needed his help with tonight’s outfit.

“Is this about the mysterious girl you are planning to seduce with your wonderful new look?”  
“What! No! Maybe.”  
“Right.”

Kurt reached over and adjusted Finn’s jacket.

“So you’re not going to tell me who it is?”  
“No.”  
“Come on, I can keep a secret!”  
“Can’t tell you yet.”  
“OK but if anything happens I want to know everything.”  
“OK.”

They reached Rachel’s door and rang the bell. Rachel answered straight away.

“Hi guys, come in. Tina and Mike are here already and there are drinks in the kitchen.”  
“Thanks.”

Kurt dragged Finn into the kitchen and handed him a beer.

“Take the edge of the nerves, eh?”

They heard the door bell ring and Rachel came into the kitchen followed by Miss Pillsbury and Puck. Finn hastily hid the beer behind his back. He wasn’t sure that Miss Pillsbury would approve of his underage drinking anymore than Mr Schue had.

About half an hour later the party was heaving. There seemed to be people everywhere, glee clubbers, footballers, teachers, parents, cheerleaders and even some people Finn recognised as being from Vocal Adrenaline. Finn spotted Rachel flirting with Jesse who had just come back from University of California. The doorbell rang again and Rachel glanced over at Finn and motioned towards the door. Finn took the hint and headed towards the door. Subconsciously, he checked his hair in the mirror and adjusted his collar, then he reached out and opened the door.

“Mr Schue! Sorry Will!”  
“Finn.”

Will was stood there on Rachel’s doorstep with a bunch of flowers in his hand and a slightly bemused look on his face.

“You look...nice.” Finn managed to say after the shock had dissipated slightly.

Truth was he looked more than nice. In low slung jeans and a white t shirt with a jacket over the top, Will looked hot. Like really hot. Like so hot Finn wanted to reach out and rip the clothes off his body and have sex with him right there and then on Rachel’s doorstep.

“You do too.”

Will was staring at Finn in a way that made Finn a bit uncomfortable.

“Thanks. Kurt helped me pick an outfit.”  
“It’s nice.”  
“Thanks. Come in. Rachel’s busy flirting with Jesse so she couldn’t come to the door.”  
“Him again! I thought we’d seen the last of him!”  
“Me too but it seems not.”

Finn stood aside to let Will into the house. As Will passed, he brushed up against Finn. The electricity between them startled both of them and they stopped and stared at each other. It felt like years before either of them dared to move a muscle. Then they both moved together, entwining fingers and pressing lips together. Finn pushed Will up against the wall and tried to get as much of his body in contact with Will’s as humanly possible. They kissed urgently and passionately, as though they could be torn apart at any moment. Finn gripped Will’s hands tightly before he managed to tear his lips away. He wanted to see Will’s face. Wanted to make sure that he wanted all of this too.

“Will,” he whispered.

Will had closed his eyes and lent his head back against the wall.

“I didn’t know you still felt this way.”  
“I told you I would always love you no matter what anyone else thought.”  
“I thought it was just a teenage crush.”  
“This was never just a teenage crush, Will. This was always so much more. Why do you think me and Rachel broke up?”  
“But you seemed so happy. I thought you had just been lonely that night.”  
“No. Never. I loved you, Will. I still love you, Will. I’m not sure that I will ever stop loving you.”

Finn felt Will’s fingers slipping from his own. He briefly panicked but then he felt Will’s hand wrapping round his body, pulling him closer into a hug. Finn pressed his face into Will’s neck as he heard Will whisper.

“I love you too, Finn. Have done since I first heard you sing. Loved you so much even though I knew it was so wrong. Can’t stop loving you.”

They stood like that, enveloped in each other, for quite a few minutes, before they realised where they were. Stood in Rachel’s hallway with the front door wide open and a graduation party going on in the rest of the house. At any moment someone could come up the drive or out into the hallway and see them.

Will moved first.

“I should really show my face at this party since Rachel specifically invited me, but how about we go back to mine in a while? I don’t want to share you with everybody else all evening.”  
“That sounds perfect.”

Hands linked, they both walked towards the living room. At the door Will dropped Finn’s hand.

“What do we tell the others?” he asked.  
“Lets not tell them straight away. They’ll find out soon anyway but lets keep it our little secret just for tonight.”  
“OK.”

Will kissed Finn on the cheek, then pushed the door open and walked into the party where he was immediately surrounded by a group of girls including Rachel, who seemed to have managed to drag herself away from Jesse. Finn slunk off into the corner with a smile plastered on his face. Against all the odds, he had got his man.

Sam spotted him in the corner and walked over to him.

“Finn?”  
“Yes?”  
“You took your time answering the door.”

Finn felt himself blushing.

“And?”  
“What happened? Something did happen didn’t it? Why else would you be sat over here on your own looking so pleased with yourself.”  
“Something happened.”  
“Come on, man. You have to tell me!”  
“OK but you can’t tell anyone else. Not yet anyway.”  
“Cross my heart, you know I would never tell anyone else.”  
“OK. He kissed me, we kissed and it was so much better than last time. And he’s invited me round to his after this.”  
“Sounds like you’re well in there!”  
“Yeah.”  
“So you’re happy.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Good. I’m really happy for you, mate.”

Sam clapped Finn on the back and wandered off back towards Quinn.

Around an hour later Will came up to Finn and whispered in his ear.

“Fancy heading back to mine now?”

Finn nodded frantically. Will laughed and told him to say his goodbyes and he would be waiting in the car. Finn rushed around the party hugging and kissing everyone he knew before he rushed outside and spotted Will’s car parked on the other side of the road. He ran towards in and leapt into the passenger seat. Will was sat in the driver’s seat watching him curiously.

“I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anyone so eager in my whole life!”

Finn leaned over and kissed him.

“Now drive. I want to have you all to myself without this stupid gear stick between us.”

Will nodded and started the car.

The sixth time Finn ended up at Mr Schue’s house was no accident. They had barely got in the door before Will pushed Finn up against the wall and kissed him.

“Do you remember the first time you came here?”

Finn nodded, not wanting to take his lips off Will’s neck.

“It was an accident. Didn’t know where I was.”

“No such thing as an accident,” said Will with his hands unbuttoning Finn’s shirt, “Only fate.”


End file.
